Journal #4 Chapters 10, 11, & 12 Perspective: Mrs. Dubose

Journal #4
Chapters 10, 11, & 12
Perspective: Mrs. Dubose



Dear Diary,

About a month ago two kids from down the street named Jem and Scout walked past my house like they always have to to get to town. When people walk by my house no matter who they are I always say something to them. Everyone is acquainted with my ways of saying mean things. The things I say aren't very nice but I never realize what I'm saying until it's out of my mouth. This day when Jem and Scout walked by I said some mean things. The beginning of the conversation started with me saying that I was going to call their principal and tell him that they were playing hooky. Jem replied saying that it was a Saturday. I said that it made no difference and that I wondered if Atticus knew where they were. Jem said that they had been going to town by themselves since they were very little. I told him not to lie to me and that Maudie Atkins had told me that he had broken down her scuppernong arbor that morning. He denied this and I yelled at him to not contradict me.

I then began my conversation with Scout. I tolled her that she shouldn't be wearing overalls but instead a dress with a camisole underneath. I tolled her that if she was going to dress like that, then she was going to end up waiting on tables at the O.K. cafe. They began to walk away but I said "Not only a Finch waiting on tables but one in the courthouse lawing for niggers!" This made Jem stiff. He stood still. I knew what I had said had really bothered him but I kept on going anyway. I said "Your fathers no better than the niggers and trash he works for!" Jem went scarlet in the face. He was angry. You could tell that he was very mad. Scout tugged on Jems arm and they began to walk away. This time I let them go.

I went inside my house and the next time I came outside I was surprised to see my camella bushes destroyed. All the flowers laid on the ground and there I also a baton, broken in half. I knew then that this was Jem. Jem had come when I was inside and destroyed all me camellas. That night I talked to Atticus. I had been debating on what I wanted Jem to do and I came to a conclusion. A while after I talked to Atticus there was a knock on my door. Jessie whom I have entrusted to care for me answered the door and there was Mr. Jem Finch. I had decided what I wanted him to do. He said sorry but he didn't sound very sincere. I told him that I wanted him to come to my house everyday after school and every Saturday for a full month to read to me. When I told him this he looked very perplexed, and he looked like he really didn't want to come read to me.

The first day Jem came to read to me he also brought Scout along. When they entered the house I was laying down. I know I must have looked very sickly and weak to them but still they still looked terrified. They sat a distance away from me but I told them to come nearer to me until they were adjacent to my bed. Jem then began to read. I only remember a bit of him reading then I don't remember anything. I just know that I fall asleep. I know that there is an alarm and when it goes off Jessie shoos Jem and Scout out of the house.

This went on for a month and everyday the alarm would go off a little bit later. On the last day of Jems reading I told Atticus that I just wanted Jem to read to me for one more week. I know that Jem was very upset about this but I really needed this. A week later Jem was done with his readings. I was like always asleep when they left. But these past readings had been different. I would get bored of the reading and I would begin to say mean things to them again as I had when they would walk by on their way to town. One day I said "Jeremy Finch I told you you'd live to regret tearing up my camillas. You regret it know don't you!" he said that he did. I told him that he thought he could wreck my snow on the mountains but that now my camillas were growing back. He muttered something but I couldn't tell what he was saying. Three weeks passed and I was sure I was close to dieing. I have been addicted to morphine. I am sick because of my addictions. I am about to die because of my addictions. But I am dieing old. I prepare a box for Jem. Inside I put a waxy white camilla surrounded by cotton. I wrapped it and put it away.

I am going to die. I can feel it. Its about to happen. I am calling Atticus. I tell Atticus to come over. Before I die I give him the box for Jem he takes it.

To all whom will remember me,
Mrs. Dubose